On the Fact that I Continue to "Identify" as Burt Lancaster

And, yes, when I say that I identify as Burt Lancaster, I mean, I AM BURT LANCASTER. That's right, it was me who starred in "Elmer Gantry", "Birdman of Alcatraz", "Come Back, Little Sheba", "Sweet Smell of Success", "Atlantic City", and "From Here to Eternity". And don't even think about asking me  how I did it (some of these pictures having been made before I was born and all) because that would be bigoted. You know, my truth and all.