On Waking Up Every Morning Thinking that Keeping Illegal Migrant Criminals In the Country and Maintaining Obviously Moronic Spending (Gender-Neutral Toilets In Space, a Floating Restaurant In the Caribbean, Sesame Street Program In Iraq, etc.) Are Reasonable Hills to Die On

 You'd have to be the Nadia Comaneci of mental gymnastics to pull this crap off and little did we know, we've got ourselves plenty of 'em.