On the Fact that Even After Two Years of Intense Investigation, I Still Cannot Assert with Any Degree of Certitude that Robert Mueller Never Got Butt-Fucked by a Small Battalion of Midgets In a Hudson Valley Corn-Field Sometime During the Mid-1980s

Sorry, couldn't resist (the fact that Mr. Mueller uttered an equally Kafkaesque statement during his mercifully short press conference early this week and so why not?).