Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Glen Beck Interview Sarah Palin (an Abbreviated List)

1) Play Boggle. 2) Wait for tea-water to boil. 3) Have a stare-down with my cat. 4) Watch reruns of "Wings". 5) Get kicked in the head by a mule. 6) Eat my estranged mother-in-law's leftovers. 7) Watch Oprah Winfrey shave her arm-pits, bikini-line, etc.. 8) Watch Sandra Bernhardt urinate. 9) Suffer through another year of Al Groh coaching Virginia. 10) Ditto, Lane Kiffin at Tennessee. 11) Stand in line for Madonna concert tickets. 12) Actually have to attend a Madonna concert. 13) Walk the streets of downtown Damascus wearing an "America is number one" T-shirt. 14) Be on the receiving end of a "power wedgie" and/or "tittie twister". 15) Be forced to repeatedly listen to that boring part of Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" (you know, the part where Ian Anderson strums and hums slowly). 16) Listen to Cliffy pontificate. 17) Listen to one of Keith Olbermann's sanctimonious "special comments". 18) Have copious amounts of dental work. 19) Conversing with an Asiatic telemarketer. 20) Listen to Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Celine Dion.....at the same time!! 21) Drink nothing but Pabst Blue Ribbon.....FOR LIFE!! 22) Drive through North Carolina pig country.....slowly.....with the windows wide open. 23) Fight Manny Pacquiao. 24) Root for the Phillies (I'm a Mets fan). 25) Have a Taco Bell Thanksgiving. 26) Vote for Rick Parry. 27) Read Proust. 28) Listen to Rudy Giuliani talk about 9/11. 29) Dive for golf-balls. 30) Attend a Lyndon Larouche rally. 31) Watch an entire NASCAR event. 32) Officially change my name to Floyd Boyd (middle name, Lloyd). 33) Give Joan Rivers a facial. 34) Listen to my neighbor do his Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson impressions (they're not very good). 35) Dump Courteney Cox and/or Felicity Huffman. 36) Watch "Gigli". 37) Basically anything.