On the Fact that In a Saner Era, Rand Paul Would Have Gotten the Republican Nomination (and Not a Narcissistic and Buffoonish Reality TV Star), Jim Webb Would Have Gotten the Democratic Nomination (and Not a Corrupt and Cynical War-Mongering Bitch), Austin Petersen Would Have Gotten the Libertarian Nomination (and Not an Ignorant and Insular Pot-Head), and Nobody Would Have Gotten the Green Party Nomination Because an Entity as Idiotic as that Wouldn't Exist

But alas, we are far from sane and even further removed from critical thought. Just look at us.