Saturday, June 25, 2011
"Bouts" Part One
Lana Turner vs. Ava Gardner....... Hedy Lamarr vs. Vivien Leigh....... Greta Garbo vs. Marlene Dietrich....... Gene Tierney vs. Rita Hayworth....... Raquel Welch vs. Ann Margret....... Grace Kelly vs. Eva Marie Saint....... Jane Russell vs. Jayne Mansfield (billed as the battle of the big uns)....... Jane Fonda vs. Faye Dunaway....... Doris Day vs. Kim Novak....... Olivia de Havilland vs. Joan Fontaine (SISTERS!!)....... Elizabeth Taylor vs. Natalie Wood....... Deborah Kerr vs. Greer Garson....... Ginger vs. Mary Ann....... Wilma vs. Betty....... Ann Miller vs. Cyd Charisse....... Joan Crawford vs. Bette Davis....... Jennifer Love Hewitt vs. Sarah Michelle Gellar....... Marcia vs. Jan (sorry, no Cindy)....... Donna Reed vs. Mary Tyler Moore....... Glenn Close vs. Meryl Streep...... Kristin Scott Thomas vs. Helena Bonham Carter....... Halle Berry vs. JLo....... Lucy Liu vs. Lisa Ling....... Lois Lane vs. Mary Jane Watson....... Eleanor Roosevelt vs. Lady Bird Johnson....... Claudette Colbert vs. Carol Lombard....... Jody Foster vs. Helen Hunt....... Phyllis Diller vs. Imogene Coca....... Aint Bea vs. Gladys Kravitz....... Elizabeth Montgomery vs. Barbara Eden....... Lily vs. Morticia....... Loretta Lynn vs. Tammy Wynette....... Naomi Campbell vs. Tyra Banks....... Elle MacPherson vs. Heidi Klum....... Tina Fey vs. Ashleigh Banfield (battle of the bespectacled)....... Diane Lane vs. Ashley Judd....... Shania Twain vs. Martina McBride....... Courteney Cox vs. Bridget Fonda....... Julianne Moore vs. Vanessa Williams....... Demi Moore vs. Rob Lowe (post surgery, I'm saying)....... Naomi Watts vs. Winona Ryder....... Kate Smith vs. Ethel Merman.......Wonder Woman vs. the Catwoman (AKA Linda Carter vs. Julie Newmar)....... Ginger Rogers vs. Eleanor Powell....... Rosanne Barr vs. the Fabulous Moolah....... Beverly Sills vs. Roberta Peters....... Chrissie Hynde vs. Deborah Harry....... Linda Ronstadt vs. Stevie Nicks (their pre-dirigible eras)....... Sarah Palin vs. Michele Bachmann....... 34B vs. 36C....... Audrey Hepburn vs. Julie Andrews....... Jennifer Aniston vs. Christina Applegate....... Granny vs. Mrs. Drysdale and Mrs. Howell (a handicapped match)....... Beverly Johnson vs. Iman....... Billy Joe vs. Bobby Joe vs. Betty Joe (a three women over the top battle royal).......Linda Evans vs. Stephanie Powers....... Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump....... Felicia vs. Carissa (a couple of bitches that I'm presently working with)....... Debbie Wasserman Schultz vs. Angelina Jolie (clearly some intoxication needed on this one)....... Christie Brinkly vs. Cheryl Tiegs.......
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7 comments:
Dude, you got WAY too much free time on your hands to make up that much of a list.
However...Sarah Palin vs. Michele Bachmann should be touted as a death match.
A steel cage death match, I was thinking.............The list came surprisingly easy, btw. When the only thing that you think about is women......
Why Christina Applegate versus Jennifer Aniston? Everyone knows Angelina Jolie stole Aniston's husband, therefore is should be Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston.
In the Rosie O'Donnell versus Donald Trump battle I declare Rosie O'Donnell to be the winner.
I don't know why any of these other people would have cause to be angry with each other. BTW, why is poor Rosanne pitted against a professional wrestler? I guess Will wants that one fixed so that Rosanne goes down (although the FM is dead... but he's got other dead people on this list).
The CDM said... Dude, you got WAY too much free time on your hands to make up that much of a list.
This is "Part One", so I presume another list of name is in the works.
Will: ...only thing that you think about is women.
Rob Lowe is a woman? Are you referring to some other Rob Lowe? Or do you mean that if you were both in prison you'd be willing to consider Rob Lowe a woman (and get busy with him)?
You perhaps didn't notice that the word, "bouts", had quotation marks, meaning that it wasn't supposed to be literal. These match-ups were strictly about who was hotter, a or b.............The reference to Rob Lowe was a joke, the fact that the fellow's such a pretty boy, yada yada.............And, really, what's with this whole homosexual innuendo bullshit. This is the second time that you've done it. Do you have a problem with homosexuality?
Will: what's with this whole homosexual innuendo bullshit... Do you have a problem with homosexuality?
I have no problem. Do you? You seem mighty offended.
Anyway, I admit I was wrong. You do say "post surgery"... So I guess you wouldn't be interested unless he had a sex change.
It's not a question of interest. It was a joke. And I have absolutely no problem with homosexuality. Try to find one example anywhere indicative of it anywhere. I dare you.
I decline your dare because what I said was a joke. I didn't get your joke; you didn't get mine... although I believe mine was more obviously a joke. I still don't get HOW the paring of two names qualifies as a "joke".
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