Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Sucker For a Puncher

Can somebody please explain to me why Todd Bertuzzi is still playing hockey? No, wait, let me rephrase that. Can somebody please explain to me why Todd Bertuzzi isn't in prison?.................................................................................................For those of you who don't remember, Mr. Bertuzzi committed one of the most vicious cheap shots in the history of a sport that, well, let's face it here, has a long and bloody history of them. It took place March 8, 2004 and the victim was a player by the of name Steve Moore. Specifically, folks, Bertuzzi skated up from behind Mr. Moore (who never saw him coming) and clocked him in the right temple, knocking him out immediately. And that, God damn it, was just the frigging punch. The landing, in which Mr. Moore's head bounced several times like a coconut - THAT was what did the major damage (three fractured vertebrae in the neck).......................................................................................................Of course, what was almost as outrageous as the assault, was the National Hockey League's anemic response to it. They gave Mr. Bertuzzi a 20 game suspension. 20 games for ruining a person - nice, huh? Or, look at it this way, folks. Bertuzzi got the identical punishment that former Texas Rangers' baseball pitcher, Kenny Rogers got. The only difference is that Rogers punched out a camera. A ruined camera or a ruined human being (yes, Mr. Moore is still recovering from this)? You make the call.

12 comments:

Commander Zaius said...

I watch hockey for the fights, the actually game where they slide the puck around is boring.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

I agree, the fights are blistering. This, though, was an absolute mugging. I can still see his head frigging bouncing on the ice like it was yesterday.

The Prophet Dervish Z Sanders said...

I think we should ban it. Then these people could get real jobs. Who ever heard of something as ridiculous as playing games for a living? Of what value is this to society?

The Prophet Dervish Z Sanders said...

The title of your post implies you approve of what this guy did. Saying you're a sucker for something means you LIKE it.

Also... Kenny Rogers plays baseball? I doubt it, given the fact that he's 72 years old.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Boy, did you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed. LOL

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

No, I don't like what he did. I think that the suspension should have been for life and Mr. Bertuzzi sent to prison.......Ban professional sports? Yeah, that's a prudent solution. Dude!!

The Prophet Dervish Z Sanders said...

Concerning Kenny Rogers... I've heard that he has restaurants that specialize in fried chicken... although I've never even seen one, let alone eaten at one...

OK, so Wikipedia says, "Kenny Rogers Roasters entered Chapter 11 bankruptcy in March 1998 and was bought by Nathan's Famous Inc. for US$1.25 million. After closing nearly all of its U.S. operations, Kenny Rogers Roasters now operates primarily in Asia".

Interesting... I didn't know that.

BTW, Kenny Rogers' Wikipedia page says nothing about him playing baseball, so I think you're making that up.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

He was actually a very good pitcher, wd; won 219 games from 1989 to 2008.

The Prophet Dervish Z Sanders said...

BTW, Kenny Rogers did star as an old west type in "The Gambler", which was based on his song of the same name. The character Brady Hawkes is similar to Bret Maverick (played by James Garner). Both were poker players.

I do not believe that either character was ever a lawman, let alone a member of the Texas Rangers. The characters that do spring immediately to mind who were (former) Texas Rangers are Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones as Augustus "Gus" McCrae and Woodrow F. Call from the "Lonesome Dove" TV miniseries.

Of course there was also "Walker, Texas Ranger", the TV series starring the crazy Right-winger Chuck Norris. Concerning Chuck -- Wikpedia says, "the show has gained a following for its camp appeal, due to its improbable combination of martial arts and modern Western genres, its wildly unrealistic depiction of police work".

Regarding the Texas Rangers Wikipedia says they are "the second oldest state-level law enforcement agency in the US. The Rangers have taken part in many of the most important events of Texas history and were involved in some of the best-known criminal cases in the history of the Old West, such as those of gunfighter John Wesley Hardin, bank robber Sam Bass, and outlaws Bonnie and Clyde".

The "Texas Rangers" Wikipedia page does not mention baseball or Kenny Rogers. I searched it and the result was "no matches found".

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Search Kenny Rogers, baseball, and you'll find him. This particular Kenny Rogers is quite a bit younger, I believe.

The Prophet Dervish Z Sanders said...

You do realize I was kidding, right?

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

I kinda did. Wasn't totally sure, though.