On the Fact that Hillary Has Wanted to Be President for Her Entire Adult Life and Now Faces at Least a 40 to 45% Chance that She Will Lose that Opportunity to a Big, Bloated Orange Man Whose Previous Claim to Fame Was Being a Construction Mogul and Reality TV Star, Who Almost Literally Got Involved in Politics an Hour and 45 Minutes Ago, and Who Under Any Other Circumstances Would Probably Be Defeated by a Diseased Farm Animal in a Mayoral Race for Petticoat Junction

Yeah, I'm not gonna need a laugh-track for this one. No sir.