Sunday, January 17, 2010

Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Glen Beck Interview Sarah Palin (an Abbreviated List)

1) Play Boggle. 2) Wait for tea-water to boil. 3) Have a stare-down with my cat. 4) Watch reruns of "Wings". 5) Get kicked in the head by a mule. 6) Eat my estranged mother-in-law's leftovers. 7) Watch Oprah Winfrey shave her arm-pits, bikini-line, etc.. 8) Watch Sandra Bernhardt urinate. 9) Suffer through another year of Al Groh coaching Virginia. 10) Ditto, Lane Kiffin at Tennessee. 11) Stand in line for Madonna concert tickets. 12) Actually have to attend a Madonna concert. 13) Walk the streets of downtown Damascus wearing an "America is number one" T-shirt. 14) Be on the receiving end of a "power wedgie" and/or "tittie twister". 15) Be forced to repeatedly listen to that boring part of Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" (you know, the part where Ian Anderson strums and hums slowly). 16) Listen to Cliffy pontificate. 17) Listen to one of Keith Olbermann's sanctimonious "special comments". 18) Have copious amounts of dental work. 19) Conversing with an Asiatic telemarketer. 20) Listen to Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Celine Dion.....at the same time!! 21) Drink nothing but Pabst Blue Ribbon.....FOR LIFE!! 22) Drive through North Carolina pig country.....slowly.....with the windows wide open. 23) Fight Manny Pacquiao. 24) Root for the Phillies (I'm a Mets fan). 25) Have a Taco Bell Thanksgiving. 26) Vote for Rick Parry. 27) Read Proust. 28) Listen to Rudy Giuliani talk about 9/11. 29) Dive for golf-balls. 30) Attend a Lyndon Larouche rally. 31) Watch an entire NASCAR event. 32) Officially change my name to Floyd Boyd (middle name, Lloyd). 33) Give Joan Rivers a facial. 34) Listen to my neighbor do his Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson impressions (they're not very good). 35) Dump Courteney Cox and/or Felicity Huffman. 36) Watch "Gigli". 37) Basically anything.

17 comments:

Teeluck said...

Nice, I like it.

Teeluck said...

If you're a Mets fan....you're not half bad....cool.

Teeluck said...

You have a good sense of humor too, lloyd.

thereturnofRusty said...

Again....thats why God invented the channel control...you dont have to watch if you dont want to.

Stange that millions of average americans did watch her interviews.

Do you consider yourself smarter or perhaps better then them?

No one every gives a reason why Fox garners at least three times the viewers as MSMBC.

Are the people watching stupid,are they knuckle draggers,racist,dumb,uninformed?

Or are they average americans?

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Just for the record, Russ, I could have done the very same scpeel about Keith Olbermann interviewing Lawrwnce O'Donnell. I do consider myself pretty "equal opportunity". And, plus (I certainly hope you noticed), I also gave Clffy a little zinger......Teeluck (your handle sounds familiar), welcome. Humor is EXTREMELY important to me. And, fortunately/unfortunately, politicians (Mrs. Palin very prominent lately) are all too willing to give me material.

Teeluck said...

Teeluck is my real name.
I posted a few comments on lydia's blog a few weeks ago, so you may have seen my name there. I like your blog, it is good.

Teeluck said...

If you want, you can check out my blog, you may not like it very much tho, but that's alright, you're still a good guy.

Teeluck said...

my blog is
shockandaweonamerica.com

Commander Zaius said...

8) Watch Sandra Bernhardt urinate.

I can't stand Palin but she might beat anything with that alien (Outer space kind) Bernhardt. Channel surfing one time and just happened to catch her in a cat suit on stage.

I had some strange form of PTSD for a month after that.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

I think I already checked it out, Teeluck (I left a comment somewhere). Is this a different blog than your blogspot?.....Absolutely, double b, Sandra B. is disgusting. And, yeah, you're right, perhaps my hyperbole was just a tad over the top on that one......P.S. I have to admit that I do watch Fox from time to time. I do, however, have some rock-solid reasons - the top 3 being Allison Cammaroto, Martha MacCallum, and Julie Banderas. Politics (sometimes) be damned!!

thereturnofRusty said...

Still no response to the question.

Why does Fox get at least triple the MSNBC viewers and more then CNN,CNBC and MSMBC combined.

a.Fox is more balanced then the others?

b.Fox's host are more interesting?

c, Americans in general are stupid?


Pick one.

Ren_Höek said...

I'm guessing A then B

Ren_Höek said...

Coarse C is a possiblility

u did elct Obama

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

I think that the ratings are probably a function of the way that they (Fox) deliver the news; provacative, the way that they reduce everything to left vs. right (easily digestable, in other words). And, yes, like I said before to double b, the network certainly knows how to find the hotties, too.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Mr. Hoek. Welcome.

Teeluck said...

I like to watch Fox, they sometimes have other news when the news gets stale on the other networks, and the babes are good to look at, but they need some younger ones... I'd rather dribble at some chicks in their 20's.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

You're definitely younger than me, Teeluck. LOL