Note to U.N. Ambassador, Nikki Haley (this In Response to Her Recent Saber-Rattling Speech Directed at President Assad of Syria)

Cut the bullshit, lady. There is no way in hell that Assad gassed those folks. a) He was already winning the fucking war and so there was zero necessity for it and b) he isn't moronic enough to do something like that with the whole damned world watching his every move. This was either another false flag by the terrorists (I refuse to label them, "moderate rebels", a la McCain) or something that American Intelligence concocted to get us involved in yet another Middle-East quagmire. And even if what you're proclaiming here is accurate (I seriously doubt that it is but I'll humor you for a minute), it's none of our damned business and we need to stay out of it. Enough already with these stupid wars.