Friday, December 5, 2008

A Little Non-Partisan Humor (And, Boy, Is it Ever Needed)

Look, folks, I know that a lot of you are angry with Dennis Miller (my liberal friends, especially); the fact that he's gone from being a liberal to a conservative, the fact that he apparently admires George W. Bush, etc.. But, I'm serious here, this guy, in my opinion, has come out with some of the best punch-lines in the history of "stand-up". Allow me the indulgence here of putting forth a couple of my personal favorites. 1) "The only thing I learned throughout the entire impeachment process is that CNN's Greta Van Susteran moves her mouth like Clutch Cargo." 2) (on the lengthy appeal process for death penalty cases) "It takes longer than it would take Porky Pig to sing 'Hey Jude'." 3) (regarding Shane Stant, the alleged "hit man" in the Nancy Kerrigan fiasco) "He had an alibi. He was spotted climbing out of some primordial morass, learning how to stand upright." 4) (on the Iranian President/madman, Ahmadinejad) "He's as unstable as Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube." 5) (on the mostly tourist comprised audience of his doomed CNBC show) "The highlight of their day, prior to my show, was gazing at a chalk-outline of Sal Mineo." I guess that those are my top five picks, folks.


Voltron said...

What's up Will?

You trying to regain your lib cred or what?.....LOL

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

According to the LC folks, I never had any. They probably hate Miller, huh?

Voltron said...

Hi Will,

I was just taking a walk down memory lane and came across this AGAIN.
Remember when we first met and I posted this regarding the LC crowd?

"Everything can be explained by this kind of paranoid logic. In fact, paranoia is really nothing more than the use of reason and logic in the service of the irrational and bizarre.

* Are you poor? Someone must have robbed you of what you are entitled to!
* Are you angry and experiencing hatred, but like to think of yourself as a loving, compassionate sort of person? Then the object of your hatred magically becomes the one who!
* Is your genius not universally recognized? You must have powerful enemies that prevent you from achieving the success you know should be yours.
* Have you made mistakes in your life? Someone has clearly tricked you into acting a certain way otherwise you wouldn't have.

Has your ideology continually and repeatedly failed in the real world and resulted in death and misery for all who implement it? Take heart! It is not your fault or your ideology's! Either it wasn't implemented virutously enough; or there were evil [Republican, Neocon, Male, White, Christian, Jewish] forces (choose one or more) that have been plotting against it!

The above mental gymnastics allow the paranoid person to externalize blame and avoid responsibility for his situation in life, as well as his own feelings. It is always someone else's fault and not his. It is always someone else who is experiencing the objectionable feelings, and he is always the victim of it.

In addition to externalizing blame for one's own pitiful situation in life, there is yet another advantage to paranoia and projection: very often, a creative distortion of reality can reliably pump up one's own self-esteem! You are the righteous; persecuting the true racists thus proving you, yourself, are incapable of any racist thoughts or emotions! Aren't you wonderful?

Sometimes, it pumps it that self-esteem up at the expense of a great deal of fear; but nevertheless, it is comforting to know that someone appreciates your genius or the threat you represent. Clearly if the CIA, FBI, aliens, Jews , POTUS, Republicans, Business/capitalism, Big Oil [--fill in your favorite bogeyman here--] are out to get you, you must be very special and unique indeed.

In short, paranoia and its baby brother projection organize and distort reality in a way that makes it palatable; and, at the same time help the user to avoid recognizing some unpleasant truths about himself. When practiced on a societal or cultural level, it accomplishes the same thing on a larger scale. All you have to do is eliminate the external problem and everything will be all right and you'll never have to question your beliefs--or say you are sorry-- again.

The con artist does this consciously and deliberately and understands the effectiveness of the psychological maneuver. Con artists come in all sorts of political stripes, of course, but in our day the great examples are pretty much exclusive to the political left, because the vast majority of the left's minions have such an intense need to appear virtuous. In fact, the appearance of virtue in themselves is much more important than any other reality.

Reality is always redrawn in order to pump up their own righteousness and virtue. Anyone who opposes their policies is automatically branded as racist, sexist, homophobic, islamophobic-- take your pick, depending on the circumstances.

Hell, anyone who offers ANY new ideas in these areas are automatically branded with one of the "isms"."

Voltron said...

Another paragraph or two:

"It is inconceivable to paranoid persons that people actually exist who view the situation differently from them. It is inconceivable that they could be wrong about their perception of reality. Con men always think others are out to con them. In fact, most paranoids consider themselves the ONLY reality-based community, because they get to define what reality is and it is always what they happen to feel. And it is always about making sure they feel good and virtuous and self-righteous.

Paranoia and projection also provide a rationale and justification (to the paranoid, at least) for acting out against those who--from their perspective-- stand in the way of implementing their social programs; or will not submit to the will of their god (whoever and whatever it may be)."

Note how whoever disagrees with them is a "liar", and Barty's continued attempts to get me to "repent"...LOL

Voltron said...

The above quotes courtesy of Dr. Sanity...

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

I've never seen people so selectively perceive the universe around them, and with such utter suspician, too. Frightening.

Stella said...

Voltron, some great writing on people who engage in victimization. Perhaps the best con artists are paranoids. And, Will, you're absolutely right about seletive perception: it's plain scary.

Dennis Miller is highly intelligent, but he'll never live up to George Carlin, whom I greatly miss. As far as comedians, I still love Margaret Cho and Roseanne. They're wise, witty, intelligent, and their new routines are brilliant.

mk said...

I've never seen people so selectively perceive the universe around them, and with such utter suspicion, too. Frightening.

A perfect description of the republicans in Washington the last couple of decades, thank you will for describing them like this.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

You're erecting another straw argument there, Mike. The Republicans have done a mighty poor job indeed. Show me an instance where I've ever indicated otherwise.